Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Funny Version: The 12 Days of Christmas

'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd not said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
My jeans were so tight that it made my waist hurt
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
"Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

Bu that's not how it's going to be for us, right? : )



Coby Goesling said...

Well when you put it like that, it makes me think twice about making Aunt Edith's meatballs at Christmas time! ;-)

How are you going to adapt your eating over Christmas? You showed such incredible self-control over Thanksgiving - you amaze me!

TheFitnessFreak said...

Thanks Coby : ) I actually have given myself permission to have vegan Thai food on Christmas Eve. Yep, cooked Thai food, my favorite! Doesn't it sound so Christmasy? On Christmas I'll just have salad and some Raw Ginger Cookies, yum!


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